Stop Yourself

I have three kids, which means I experience moments of unimaginable tenderness and joy, alongside teeth grinding seasons of unbearable frustration. Last night, Benny called out to me after he was already in bed, when I had settled down on the couch with Mary to watch Friends (yes, we still do that). Benny is a world class staller.When I got to his room, he looked at me, wiggled around, and said, "Daddy, I'm too hot. And I'm too cold."I laughed out loud. And then he started laughing. I love this boy so much. I love the creative ways he tries to stretch bedtime out. I love his giggle. It makes me swell up with something bigger than joy. Love, love, love.But there are also moments for all three of our boys when they get so out of control with their bodies and their mouths and their hands that they need intervention. They fight a lot. They yell a lot. They whine and complain a lot.So Mary and I have developed a phrase for those moments: Stop yourself. You're out of control. You're not your true self right now. You're making decisions that you don't really want to be making because you're so angry, or sad, or frustrated. When we have rescued them from whatever pit of hell they have fallen into, we try to get them to identify what they need. If they can identify what they need (they usually need help with this), then they can usually recover pretty quickly. It's amazing.So, let me meddle. Where do you need to stop yourself?

• From the endless negative self talk?
• From the perfectionism that is stealing your joy?
• From the mind numbing online shopping?
• From the internal dialogue you're having with the person with whom you're in conflict?
• From spending so much energy worrying?
• From spending all your time on social media?
• From working way too much?
• From your self righteousness that's driving everybody crazy?
• From your procrastination?
• From always going, going, going and never stopping?

Stop yourself.Now, what do you need? 

• More sleep?
• Some help getting started on a project?
• A daily, relaxing ritual to help you slow down?
• A slow walk once a day?
• To make a temporary, full stop from certain activities (like social media, or online shopping) so you can find yourself?
• A weekend away from the kids?

Once you've decided what you need, the natural reaction is to believe you can't do it, or don't deserve it. I can't... It would never work to... But who will cover my...Stop yourself.Only you are responsible to say what you need and to get what you need. No one else is going to champion what you need, because they don't know what you need. Stopping yourself, and then naming your need out loud is one of the most courageous and spiritually healthy things you can do.I published a podcast today on this very topic, so for much more of my thinking about it, go here, or click the player below.* * *On that note, I am doing a little stopping myself during this season as well. For about the next forty days, I will publish zero podcasts. I will publish zero blogs. And I am completely stepping away from social media. After a long season of creativity and output and public self, it's time to pull it all back and place my focus elsewhere for a little while. I'm excited about it, and of course a little scared. But mostly excited.So grateful for you, my readers. As always, in it together!