Happy Holidays?

Let’s be honest: the Holiday season can be brutal. Most of us enter into it with grand notions of doing it differently this year, but by the second week of December, we’re armpit deep in the chaos, and it’s too late. In addition to juggling the craziness of our schedules, we also have to navigate the craziness of family.We typically underestimate how hard it is to do that, especially if your Christmas schedule includes the annual visits to your divorced parents, who now obviously have their own separate traditions and corresponding expectations that roll in like a freight train, predictable, on schedule, and weighty.Because we lack the time and space to adequately address the pain that the Holiday season rips open, it’s normal to find yourself feeling like your seven-year old self again when you gather around the table of your divorced parents. The feelings of anxiety and abandonment can be suffocating, and you begin looking for the escape hatch.So, can we talk about that? Is there a different way to deal with it that doesn’t feel like just getting through it without doing more damage?My friend Tim’s parents got divorced when he was eight years old. He has this vivid memory of his dad standing in the rain outside of their farmhouse on 4^th street, writing a check to his mom. In Tim’s words, “The parental relationship that was responsible for my existence was splitting in half. Would I be provided for? Would there be enough for my little brother and I? And who am I in all this?” Tim and a small group of friends in South Minneapolis started a church a few years ago called MIDTOWN, a missional and conversational community in south Minneapolis. Their gatherings are unique, in that you won’t find a preacher telling you things. They have conversations – about life, faith, spirituality, and the questions that spring up for all of us around those issues.On Sunday, December 15^th, they’re hosting a conversation titled “Who’s in the picture? Starting the conversation about money, holidays and families with divorce.” They’ve invited Andrew Root, who wrote a book called, Children of Divorce. Andy is a local author and seminary professor. Tim is going to interview Andy about the effects of divorce on the identity of kids, and how the holidays can bring up all of those painful wounds up all over again.Are you in Minneapolis? Add Sunday, December 15^th to your calendar – learn more and register here. The conversation starts at 5:00pm. Expect insights, stories, more questions, and conversations about family and holidays.And for those of you who can’t make it, but whose parents are divorced, let's start a conversation right here. How are you planning to navigate those waters this Holiday Season? What kinds of conversations would you love to have about how to deal with the pain and loss that accompany the Holiday Season for you?Photo Source: This Photo comes from a great article from Relevant Magazine on dealing with divorce during the Christmas Season.