Two Things That Require Fearless and Rigorous Honesty

When you live with boys, there will be lots of pirate booty, hidden in makeshift treasure chests all over your house. Gold doubloons are especially valuable, and rare.And lust for those doubloons, well, that’s what gave birth to the lie.The boys had each gotten a gold doubloon on a recent trip, and Isaac’s had been lost at sea, or maybe the sandbox, for some time now.Isaac and I were in Elijah’s room, looking for something else, when Isaac blurted out, “Dad! There’s my doubloon!” Remember, we were in Elijah’s room.“Huh,” I said, dubiously.“No, really, dad, that’s my doubloon!” he insisted, clutching it to himself. “My precious,” he purred, petting it. (OK, he didn’t say that. But it was close).“So that’s your doubloon? In Elijah’s room? Are you sure?” My eyebrows were raised, my voice lawyer-like.He quickly lowered his eyes and walked to the other side of the room, caught. He pondered his crime, and then put the doubloon down.“OK, dad, you’re right. It’s not my doubloon. I didn’t tell the truth. The truth is that I’m just sad that mine is lost.”In that moment, my heart exploded with love for that little six-year old pirate.I wrapped him in my arms and buried his lie with kisses and high fives and praise for being the best, and most honest six year-old on planet earth.Bill, the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, writes about the importance of fearless and rigorous honesty.“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 58).Bill goes on: “We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely” (58).Fearless and thorough from the very start.Dallas Willard once said that repentance begins by admitting what actually is.  When we do not admit what actually is, he said, we live fractured lives. These lies end up splintering our souls, and after a lifetime of doing this, it is difficult to put ourselves back together again.So I need fearless and thorough honesty about those things in me which are false.But I also need fearless and thorough honesty when I shy away from who I am and what I offer. I need to spend as much time confessing that which is beautiful and true about myself, as I do that which is ugly. Probably more.No qualifiers.No “it’s all God, not me” comments.No being shy about what you have to offer.A friend recently said this about me: “Steve is a get-it-done guy. There are sins of commission (doing wrong things) and sins of omission (not doing right things). Steve will commit sins of commission, not omission!Sometimes, that’s what’s frustrating about me. Sometimes what I push for is the wrong thing. Sometimes I am impatient and just want to get something done, so it is done poorly. But I have spent a little too much time confessing that fault lately. It’s true, and I need to see it, but it’s only part of my confession.The other part of my confession is that the world needs “get it done” people, and I will keep offering that gift to the world when it is needed, learning and growing when to offer it, and when to hold it, as I get older and wiser.Where do you most need fearless and rigorous honesty these days?